My Love for David Byrne

It's his sound, the way he moves and thinks, even (though I don't claim to even know) the way he feels. He's wacky, child-like, daring. He experiments, synthesizes other styles and cultures into his music. He's always playing--with the way he uses his voice, the way he moves his body, the world around him. I love his energy, and that he seems himself and not a "cool" rock star, even though he so is one. I mean, you've got to love someone who can pull off wearing a brown UPS-like uniform with white saddle shoes. I love how he doesn't rush himself, takes his time figuring out what he wants to say and do, but he's also spontaneous. I love him most for his music. He never loses track of rhythm and melody. I love him for making me lay aside my deep irritation at bone-thumpingly loud sounds, and get out of my seat to dance. All right, I'm gushing.

Granted, I'm coming down from the high of a fantastic concert last night. Gilberto Gil and David Byrne, two of my favorites! I've loved Gil's music for years, and also enjoyed his performance last night, but right now the experience of seeing and hearing David Byrne is welling up strongly in me and I want to look at why.

What strikes me is his unconventionality. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what defines this. Is it his characteristically intense poker-faced stare that skirts eye contact? (Though last night he broke into wide smiles several times.) His rubber-kneed dancing? The way he gyrates his hips while the top half of him appears frozen? His hauntingly nasal voice? Are his nonsensical lyrics and banshee whoops what make him unconventional? Whatever it is, everything about him seems so. At the same time, I never get the sense that it is unconvention for the sake of it, in terms of rejecting convention, more that he is playing with convention, but mostly--and here's the point--just being himself. And for this, he is loved.

But as much as David Byrne and his music are accepted and loved by a wide audience, both multi-generational and multi-cultural, I imagine that as a child, a teenager, a young adult, he was misunderstood, unaccepted, outcast, labelled as weird or crazy, socially awkward or inept. Assuming this was true, how did he overcome rejection, ignore ridicule and put himself out there? How did he come to believe in himself? What support did he have along the way? Did his parents recognize his genius and talent? Did they cheer him on, or devalue his eccentricities? Neither? Both? In what ways did he have to mature in order to "come into himself"? And here's the rub, what makes certain behaviors--like single-mindedness, lack of affect, a "strange" mode of moving, speaking in a whine--pathological, something needing correction, and when do they become wonderful, unique talents? Who put the Ab in Abbie Normal? (I think there's a song forming here.)

As a parent, particularly a parent of a special needs child, there is always a question shadowing me: Does Sasha really need to...calm down, focus, follow directions, do her schoolwork, write neatly, get enough sleep, eat at mealtimes, be polite, follow a set routine, clean up after herself, maintain friendships, etc., etc. or is it just me--or society--that needs her to do or be these things? What does Sasha need to be happy with herself and to manage in the world?

No answers, as usual. Just unrelenting questions.

And for the record, my love for David Byrne is not nearly as conflictual to my marriage as is my love of chocolate.