My Daughter, The Wall

We've been having an issue with our basement wall. Specifically, dampness. Everyone agrees about this, but how much of an issue and what to do about it varies wildly. One contractor says we have to dig a trench along the outside of our building then pour a concrete shelf to channel water away from the house, which would involve getting permission to dig up the neighboring city-owned property, as well as procuring permits and insurance. Another says we need to remove currently existing paint from the interior walls with a grinder then apply a state-of-the-art waterproofing product that bonds with the brick while still allowing it to breathe. Another says we should sandblast the interior brick then slap mold-resistant wallboard over it. Another says plug in a dehumidifier and forget about it. Yet another says only a mold remediation specialist can handle the job. Another contractor, I can't even get to come look.

Each contractor seems less motivated by objective and informed reasoning than by a need to put forth his own agenda--one only sees dollar signs (and us as vulnerable mark), one wants to push a particular product, one doesn't want the hassle of a job that requires special permissions. One wants to scare the living homeowner out of us with warnings about toxic mold while another dismisses environmental concerns out of hand.

It's all sounding so familiar. I remember when Sasha was 2 1/2-3 and her pre-school teachers mentioned her poor play skills, her need for transitional objects, her not making consistent eye contact or talking to the other children. Friends and family responded to such news incredulously: "What are they talking about?! Must be something wrong with the pre-school."

When she was 7 and we were deciding whether to move her from general to special ed, the teachers' responses ranged from "she's got big problems" and "she definitely doesn't belong here" to "there's absolutely nothing wrong with her." The same is true now, as we consider moving her back to general ed. Each respondent has an identifiable agenda, whether it be furthering her own career, following the principals' orders, plain ignorance coupled with a non-progressive teaching style or, in the case of family members, a wish to deny the genetic basis of Sasha's behavior.

Probably it would be different if water were pouring into our basement. The appropriate response would be glaringly apparent and need to be followed immediately: sump pump and trench ASAP. No time to second guess. If Sasha were clearly autistic, or aggressive, or otherwise disruptive, we wouldn't have questioned whether to send her to special ed. It would have happened much sooner. And we wouldn't be trying to get her out of it now. Not that either of those two possibilities are, by any means, preferable. I'm certainly grateful that our basement isn't a flood pool. And do I wish Sasha's problems were more severe, merely for the sake of clarity?! The idea is absurd.

So, in the end--and after endless trawling over the internet and talking to other parents (and homeowners!)--we have to go with our gut. But ssshhh! If walls can talk...I want to hear what ours is saying.